To Have a Home
by WishingForSilence
Summary: Sam and Dean run away together from an abusive John and only have each other, until they meet a dark haired, blue eyed boy with sticky fingers. Runaway!AU Destiel with eventual smut. Warnings inside.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

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**_AN: Hello! This is my first Supernatural fan fiction so be patient with me. This is only a little back story till we get into the actual plot. The title is from starkid (It's not a song fic but I just thought it'd fit well). Please R&amp;R._**

_TW: abuse_

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Dean Winchester lost his mother in a fire when he was four years old. His father insisted he saw something kill her. Driven by grief he uprooted Dean along with his younger brother Sam from their Kansas home. He told them there were things out there, monsters, who could destroy them in a heartbeat. He told his young children that's why he left so often, to fight them off and also why they never stayed in a town for too long. They never had much money, John showed them how to make ends meet by teaching them to steal what they need, to hustle pool or poker, to con others for money, and most importantly how to fight. As Dean grew older his suspicions grew with him. He'd never seen these monsters his father fought while he left him to basically raise his brother back in the motel rooms they always stayed in. Sometimes John didn't come back for days; when he did come back he was more times than not drunk. Sometimes Dean said the wrong thing. John had no problem putting him back in his place. Dean quickly learned not to question his father. At 16 it didn't take Dean much longer to realize where John really went when he left Sam and Dean alone. He drank away what little savings they had, pulling credit card scams and fleeing whenever needed. Dean challenged John constantly, disgusted with his father. He no longer cared if he was beaten for it, he was already so numb. It was when John threatened Sam that made Dean lose it. He would never let anything happen to him. They ran away that night, making sure to cover their tracks like John had taught them. Sam caught on quickly, both of them stealing and hustling enough to get by. They sometimes walked from town to town if it wasn't too far but most of the time they kept close to the railroad, train hopping when necessary. Dean still looks after his brother like a hawk, never wanting any harm to come to him. Sometimes he still sees innocence and hope in his brother, something he wished he still had.


	2. Chapter 1: Sticky Fingers

**Chapter 1: Sticky Fingers**

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_**AN: So this fic is going to be around 6/7 chapters Let me know what you think. R&amp;R.**_

_**Warning**: Violence, Strong Language,_

_**TW**: Abuse, Fighting,_

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**Dean(16) Sam(12) Castiel(14)**

It was dark despite it being the middle of the day, the clouds looming low in the sky. Dean noticed it was a bit colder than usual as he sank deeper into his large leather jacket. He hated the thing; it reminded him of his father, who had given it to him, but it was all he had to keep him warm some nights. The cold didn't stop him from strolling at a leisurely pace down the sidewalk, looking for an easy meal for him and his brother. Sam was a few blocks away, doing the same. Dean hadn't even bothered to check what town they were in. Somewhere in Illinois, he noted. They were planning to leave the next morning anyway. It was small and nothing there was really worth staying an extra day for. With a muggy day like this the streets were just about dead and it mostly just creeped him out.

Soon it was only the street lights that illuminated the sidewalks and Dean still hadn't found a damn thing. The silence was almost deafening, so much so that when he heard a muffled sound of talking in the distance he really could keep away. He stopped at the edge of an ally way just out of view of where three boys stood, surrounding something he couldn't see. Dean usually wasn't one to snoop but he was so god damn bored he couldn't bring himself to leave.

"Hold'em boys. Apparently this kid needs something to loosen his tongue." The tall boy in the middle said. He wore a black hoodie and jeans that sagged far too low, exposing his boxers beneath. The two other boys accompanying him, wearing something similar, did as he said and lifted the kid they were ganging up on.

He was obviously younger with shaggy raven black hair and big blue eyes, one of them swollen nearly shut now, that were wide with fear. His skin was pale with small bruises already starting to form on his cheek. The kid couldn't have been much older than Sam, with the same gleam of innocence he often saw in his brother now being beat out of him. He couldn't leave now, with Sam in mind a rush of protectiveness washed over Dean, urging him to do something.

"Damn it." Dean cursed. The tall boy in the black hoodie struck the blue eyed kid and Dean immediately leapt forward. "Leave him alone!" He growled, moving till he was just a couple feet from the group. The tall boy scoffed.

"Beat it pretty boy, this doesn't concern you." He said, turning back to the boy and winding up a fist.

"Well, now I guess it does." Dean said as he stepped forward and grabbed the fist before he could launch it at the kid. He threw a punch of his own, hitting him hard right in the jaw. It sent him to the ground and boy did he come back up swinging. Dean dodged them with ease, slyly picking up a trash lid and whacking him over the head with it. The boy in the black hoodie fell with a thud, definitely not planning on getting back up.

His two companions immediately dropped the kid and came charging at Dean. He elbowed the first hard in the gut, sending him to the ground doubled over in pain. Dean gripped onto the second boy's arm as he tried to throw a punch and flipped him clear over his head, surly dislocating his shoulder at least. Both boys were groaning on the ground and Dean stepped closer so they both could hear.

"Now take your friend and beat it." Dean spat, glaring at them both. The two boys scattered to their feet and dragged the tall one with them as they ran from the ally as fast as their injuries would allow. The Winchester turned back to see the blue eyed kid still sitting where they had dropped him, his eyes still wide but now with awe. Dean approached him with a smug smile and outstretched a hand to help him up. The smaller boy flinched away from it, curling in on himself. Dean's features immediately softened, looking to the boy now with concern. He crouched down so that he was eye level with the boy, though the kid seemed to prefer to rather look at the ground than at him.

"Got a name kid?" Dean asked softly, feeling as though he might startle or scare the boy.

"Castiel." He mumbled after a moment of hesitation.

"Well are you alright Castiel? Those assholes didn't break anything did they?" Dean asked, offering a smile. Castiel only shook his head in response. "Why were those guys after you anyways?" The Winchester couldn't help but ask. The smaller boy looked down before meeting Dean's eyes again.

"They thought I was stealing from them…" He answered. Dean looked to the kid with a confused expression.

"Well, why the hell would they think you-" Dean began but before he could finish Castiel pulled out a brown leather wallet from his worn coat pocket. The older boy blinked in surprise as his eyes moved slowly back and forth between Castiel and the wallet before rolling his head back and letting out a loud laugh that rung throughout the ally way. Castiel was startled at first from the unexpected reaction of the stranger but a smile soon broke out across his face as well. "I'm Dean by the way." He said brightly, offering his hand once again. Castiel took it this time and let Dean help him to his feet. "Well Cas, you should probably head home. Doing that kind of shit at this kind of day could probably get you killed, as you can see." Dean laughed, patting the smaller boy on the shoulder. Castiel said nothing at the nickname, he never had one before. The Winchester bid him farewell and Cas wordlessly watched as he strolled out of the ally, his hands buried deep in his pockets.

* * *

Dean stood at a cross walk, leaning against an old building as his brother finally approached him with a bag of food.

"You actually found something?" The older Winchester grinned, pleasantly surprised.

"It wasn't easy but yeah." Sam said, tossing his brother the bag. It was mostly consisted of fruit and stale bread but food was food and Dean wasn't one to complain.

"Good job, bitch." Dean chuckled, ruffling Sam's hair.

"Shut up jerk." He smirked, swatting away his hand as they both headed back in the direction of the motel to eat. It didn't take more than a block for both brothers to realized they were being followed. Sam glanced over to Dean, to which he gave a subtle nod. They casually turned a corner into an ally way and hid quickly behind trash cans as their pursuer simply followed their path.

"Why are you following us?" Dean said as he sprung out first, pinning them to the wall. He stopped as he looked back into the familiar panicked blue eyes he had seen only hours before. "Cas?"

"Cas?" Sam repeated, curious to how his brother knew the stranger. Dean ignored him.

"Why are you following me kid?" Dean asked, his eyes narrowing at the boy.

"I-I'm sorry! I just- and you said - I can't- I don't have a home." Castiel sputtered frantically, sounding as if he was going to hyperventilate any second. Dean unpinned him and took a step back.

"Alright, alright, Calm down kid. Just… get out of here already." The older Winchester said, looking to the smaller boy with a frown.

"P-please… can I just well….. tag along with you? I ran away…. I can't handle this by myself." Cas pleaded. Sam looked to the blue eyed boy then back to Dean with a frown.

"Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea…." He said slowly. Castiel's face brightened to see he actually had a chance.

"No way Sam. We're not going to go around picking up strays." Dean protested.

"He might die out here by himself." Sam countered, gesturing to his already weakened and bruised state. Dean glared at Cas.

"He'll just be deadweight." He said loudly to his brother. Castiel's head shot up at the comment.

"Am not!" The boy insisted. Dean scoffed loudly at him as if challenging him to prove otherwise. Without missing a beat Cas reached into his tattered coat pocket again and pulled out a wad of cash. The older Winchester blinked at him before patting down his pockets.

"You little fucker." Dean said under his breath, honestly a little impressed that he managed to pit pocket him of all people.

"Erm…. People used to say I had sticky fingers." Cas said shyly, blushing a bit as he held the money back out to Dean. Sam smirked to his brother, but Dean only glared back and snatched up the money from his hand.

"Come on Dean." Sam said, looking to Dean with his famous puppy dog eyes. Dean swallowed hard. He knew Sam never asked for much, though he probably deserved to. Sam never got the chance to really make friends and live a normal life because of him. Who was he to deny him this? Dean sighed and gave in with a small nod.

"Fine." He muttered. Both Sam and Cas' expressions brightened immediately but Dean only glared at them both.

"Thank you so much" Cas began.

"Just don't hold us back or you are going right back from where you came, got it?" The Winchester said sternly. Cas swallowed and nodded stiffly. "And you are teaching him the ropes." He said pointing to his younger brother.

"Got it." Sam said brightly, not letting Dean's sour mood get in the way of his liveliness. He'd actually have someone to talk to that wasn't his brother, and if that wasn't the most exciting thing ever, he didn't know what was. They led Cas back to the motel, Sam blabbing way to him as they walked. The brothers shared their food, both agreeing to give the malnourished looking boy a little extra. Castiel almost immediately fell asleep afterwards on the floor and Dean couldn't help but chuckle at the awkwardly positioned boy. As much as he hated to admit, he was curious about where he had come from, but those questions can wait.


	3. Chapter 2: Train Cars & Crackerjacks

**Chapter 2: Train Cars &amp; Crackerjacks**

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**_AN: So Dean is being kind of a dick in this chapter but fear not everything will be explained. Thanks so much for those following the stories I appreciate it a lot! R&amp;R_**

_Warnings: Strong Language, Illegal Activities,_

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**Dean(16) Sam(12) Castiel(14)**

Cas was awoken the next morning by a pillow thrown in his face. He sat up from where he laid on the floor and tried to rub the sleep from his eyes as he looked to the clock on the wall, illuminated by the dim motel lights. It was just about 6:30 am.

"Rise and shine kid, we're leaving town." Dean said, lacing up his boots on the bed.

"Why so early?" Cas yawned, stretching out his sore muscles from sleeping on the hard motel floor.

"You complaining?" Dean raised an eyebrow to the boy. He quickly shook his head, leaping to his feet to get ready to leave. Sam was packing away his things in his duffle bag and Dean couldn't help but notice Cas had absolutely no possessions with him. This only fed his curiosity about the boy as they checked out of the motel and headed to the edge of town.

"Er….. where are we going? I mean, if you don't mind me asking." Cas said softly, seeing that they weren't exactly following the road. Dean only chuckled and pointed ahead to where the train tracks were. Castiel still looked to the older Winchester with confusion clear on his features to which he rolled his eyes and sighed.

"This is how we're getting to the next town. Ever heard of train hopping?" Dean said and grinned at the worried look on the younger boy's face.

"I-I've heard about it. I mean- I didn't realize people still did that sort of thing." Cas stammered. Dean's head snapped around as a train horn could be heard not too far off.

"Well then you're gonna have to learn quick kid." Dean said, already starting to run along the side of the tracks. As soon as he was lined up with an empty cart he threw his bag onto it and leapt on afterwards, pulling himself till he was completely on. Cas watched as Sam did something similar, grabbing on to Dean's hand to help him inside. The older Winchester held his hand out to help Cas now, waiting for him to jump. Just as he was about to the train picked up a bit of speed, the boy now falling behind. Dean extended his arm farther, trying to get to him.

"Damn it kid! Hurry up!" He shouted out over the loud sounds of the train. Dean could see he wasn't able to do it, he was going to be left behind at this rate. "Shit." He cursed under his breath as he jumped off after him, landing on the balls of his feet, perfect by months of practice. He began running alongside Cas, who gave him a look like he was insane. The Winchester quickly grabbed him by the waist and hoisted the smaller boy over his shoulder as if he were no more than a piece of luggage.

"Dean!" Cas shouted in shock. Dean ignored him and ran faster to catch up with the cart. He tossed Cas over like he had done with his duffle bag earlier, Sam catching him so he didn't end up falling flat on his face, before jumping on himself with a bit more difficulty this time. "I-I'm sorry I- I mean thank you I-" Castiel began to ramble on, to which Dean raised a hand gesturing for the boy to shut up.

"Just remember what I said about dead weight kid." He said coldly before grabbing his bag and heading to the opposite side of the train car. Cas' gaze fell back to his worn shoes, feeling like he had royally fucked up. He only looked up when he felt a firm hand on his shoulder.

"You did fine for your first time, Dean is just in a grumpy mood and is being a colossal dick right now." Sam said low enough for only Cas to hear and chuckled. He offered the blue eyed boy a small smile and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "You'll catch on. I'm sure of it." The younger Winchester said brightly. Cas returned the smile and nodded, glad to have at least have Sam on his side.

"How about instead of having a chick flick moment over there, you teach the kid a little something about not getting his ass handed to him in a fight?" Dean called out, glaring at them both from the corner he sat in, facing the fast moving scenery of the open cart door. Sam frowned at his brother but didn't think that was too bad of an idea.

"He's right…. Sort of. You're talent for pick pocketing is only going to get you so far with the way we live. You're going to have to learn how to hold your own in a fight as well." Sam explained. Cas nodded, not wanting to have to rely on Sam or Dean to fight his battles. Sam began with the basics, helping the boy with his stance and eventually moved on to showing how to inflict the most amount of damage with minimal strength. Castiel picked up quick but out of the corner of his eye he couldn't help but notice Dean had fallen asleep at some point during their lesson. He figured that it was a good of time as any to ask something that had been kind of bugging him.

"Sam?" Cas said hesitantly after they had finished.

"Yeah Cas?" Sam replied curiously, his legs dangling of the side of the cart where they sat.

"Did I do something wrong? With Dean I mean. He seems to really hate me now and I didn't mean to get on his bad side or something." The blue eyed boy rushed out, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. Sam frowned and shook his head.

"Dean doesn't hate you, he's just….. cold towards new people." He tried to explain. "He's a good person but doesn't really like letting new people in cause… well people haven't been too good to us…. especially to Dean."The younger Winchester said staring down at his feet and wearing an expression that seemed far too old for his young age. Cas didn't press on.

"You look tired, you should rest." Castiel suggested softly.

"Yeah…. That's what I need." Sam said distantly before getting up and moving to lay by some boxes.

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Dean awoke not too long after that, letting out a yawn and glancing around

"I'm sorry." Cas said softly and Dean jumped at the unexpected close voice. The blue eyed boy sat atop a couple boxes, not meeting his gaze.

"For what exactly, kid?" The older Winchester asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I should have tried harder. I didn't mean to…. And…" Cas trailed off, looking to his clutched hands rather than him. Dean swallowed hard, remembering the way John yelled at them when they did the smallest thing wrong. His skin crawled at the thought of himself becoming his father. Dean had probably been a little hard on the boy after all. He sighed and shook his head.

"Forget about it. Like I said, no chick-flick moments kid." Dean said and grinned at Cas. The boy looked to him a little surprised but nodded quickly and returned it with a shy smile of his own. The older Winchester reached down to his bag and pulled out a worn deck of cards. "So kid, ever play poker before?" He grinned and couldn't help but laugh at the big innocent look of confusion that crossed Castiel's features. Dean dedicated the rest of their time on the train to teaching Cas how to expertly hustle poker. The kid was honestly a natural.

When Sam woke up he deemed it a good time to get off, spotting a town in the distance. They briefed Cas thoroughly this time and made it off much more smoothly. They walked the rest of the way and got to the town as evening set in.

"I'm feeling famished, how about you boys?" Dean asked them with a growing grin on his face. Sam nodded enthusiastically, his high spirits back in order after his nap. Cas nodded as well, feeling his stomach begin to grumble."Shall we then?" Dean said, holding the door open for the both of them. "We're gonna put your skills to the test kid." He told Cas as they approached a small market place. Castiel grinned back to Dean and nodded, wanting to prove himself still. The owner stood out front, watching over his shop. "I'll distract him, you guys take what you need." The older Winchester explained.

Sam and Cas nodded in agreement and got to work as Dean strolled up to the man, asking him various questions about his products. The man was confused but gave the boy his full attention as he rambled on about his supply of orange. Cas slipped as many apples that he could manage into his coat and walked casually towards the grapes. Sam was working on the sweets, snatching up a hand full of cookies and stuffing them into his pockets. The preoccupied owner looked over and only caught a small glimpse of the cookies peeking out of Sam's pocket. His face turned nearly red in anger.

"YOU LITTLE THEIVES!" He shouted. Dean's eyes widened and quickly turned to Sam and Cas.

"Crackerjacks!" He shouted, quickly grabbing some oranges before turning to flee. Castiel was confused to Dean's exclaim but immediately felt a hand tug at his arm.

"It means run and meet back at the motel when you're clear." Sam said quickly before running off in the opposite direction of his brother. Cas had no time to question it so he took off as fast as he could down some random street, his heart hammering away in his chest. Castiel estimated five minutes had gone by before he made it back to the motel. He saw Sam and Dean waiting outside the door, breathing hard. Cas joined then, out of breath himself. All three of them stood panting for a moment, their hands on their knees and chests aching for air, before exchanging glances and erupting out in a loud laughter at how crazy that was. The trio stepped back into their room, still giggling, and checked out how much they now had to eat.

"So kid, what's your story?" Dean asked casually, taking a bite of an apple as he plopped down on a bed.

"My what?" Cas asked confused.

"Your story, you know, how you became a pit pocketing runaway and all." He joked, encouraging him to talk. Sam gathered curiously as well as he chomped down on a cookie. Cas looked to his shoes and shifted a bit.

"Well…. I told you I don't have a home… I'm a foster kid and really just didn't have anything to go back to." The blue eyed boy explained. Dean noticed the small fidgeting in his hands and altogether looking uncomfortable-ness from talking about the subject.

"Hey, don't sweat it kid, I get it if you don't want to talk about it. We had an asshole of a father so we left." Dean said simply. "We don't have much but I think we're better off. Just like how you're better off with us." He said, flashing Cas a boyish grin. Castiel's expression brightened at that, smiling at Dean with a toothy grin that couldn't help but remind Dean of his younger brother. The older Winchester chuckled and ruffled Cas' hair. Perhaps taking in this blue eyed boy with the tattered coat wasn't such a bad idea after all…


	4. Chapter 3: A Walk

**Chapter 3: A Walk**

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**_AN: I'm sorry about this sad shorter chapter but it had to be done. Don't be fooled, it starts out real happy but goes downhill real fast. Next chapter will be mostly fluff so I think that makes up for it._**

_**Warnings:** Violence, Death, Sad Cas ,_

_**TW:** Abuse, Fighting, Death,_

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**Dean(16) Sam(12) Castiel(14)**

It was beautiful, the sun was high in the sky and Cas was sure the flowers looked a little brighter today. The boy walked down the sidewalk with a spring in his step. After two months of traveling with the Winchesters, Dean had finally agreed to let him do the food run, alone! He was going to do this perfectly and finally impress the older Winchester. Castiel remembered seeing a bakery as they had entered town, it shouldn't be too hard to bag a few loafs. He approached a park; the bakery was on the other side. He could just cut through, he thought. The blue eyed boy smiled at the short cut and made his way through the lively park. Cas slowed a bit, liking the scenery of the trees and plants buzzing with life.

"Again! Again!" A voice rang out, pulling him out of his train of thought. Not too far off from where Cas stood was a small family strolling along the path. Two parents and a child. The child tugged at the parent's hands, insisting to be swung between them again. Cas wondered what it would be like to have memories like that. He never got know his parents, both dies in a car crash when he was only a baby. Castiel doesn't even remember what they look like. The child giggled as the parents swung him, Cas frowned. It was time to move on.

Castiel tried to keep his focus on the trees to get his mind elsewhere. Just then two more children ran past in front of him, a boy and girl.

"Mom! Tell him to quit it!" The girl whined while trying to swat away, what Cas assumed to be, her brother's hands from tugging at her pig-tails. The sight triggers a memory from so many years ago.

* * *

"This place sucks!" Gabriel complained, throwing another rock across the yard. "I hate these foster homes." The ten year old muttered, shifting the lollipop, that no one ever knew how he got, in his mouth.

"You're not supposed to like it. That's the point." Anna rolled her eyes and turned another page in her book. She was always so smart for a nine year old, always knowing and learning things no one else did. Castiel sat on the grass next to her, watching silently as his older siblings bickered. Cas was the youngest of the three at seven years old. He was always so quiet and ordinary in every way possible, not funny like Gabe or smart like Anna, but despite that he loved his brother and sister.

"That's stupid." Gabriel scoffed. "When I turn eighteen I'm going to get us all out of here. I'm going to adopt you and Cas and get a huge house for us to live in far, far away from here. It's going to have a pool and a trampoline and a bouncy house and games and all the toys you can dream of, you'll see." He said confidently, as if it were a fact. Anna smiled and giggled. "What's your favorite animal Castiel?" Gabriel asked, putting his arm around his baby brother. Cas blinked and thought for a moment.

"Tigers!" He exclaimed, loving the big cats.

"We'll have seven of them!" Gabe grinned brightly to the smaller boy who looked back at him in excitement.

"Why would you need seven?" Anna asked with a raised eyebrow.

"One for every day of the week, of course!" Gabriel laughed, tugging at his sister's ponytail of ginger hair playfully.

"Quit it!" Anna whined, swatting him away with her book. Castiel chuckled and watched with a childish smile plastered on his face.

Gabriel and Anna were both adopted a month later.

* * *

Cas tore his eyes from the children and kept walking, his mind feeling heavier than before. He reached the other side of the park and looked around. He must have miscalculated. Castiel walked slower, keeping his eyes peeled for the bakery. Cas stopped when a big run-down house caught his eye. He couldn't help but chuckle darkly at the uncanny resemblance to the foster home he had ran away from.

They had basically lost all hope of Castiel being adopted at his age. He had been bounced from house to house. Cas often left before he really got to make good friends, so eventually he sort of stopped trying. Some homes weren't as bad but his last… had to be the worst by far. Sometimes they forgot he was there, though it was probably preferred rather than being in the line of fire of the wretched drunk he lived with. On days that they fed him very little if at all Cas would sneak food from the kitchen. It was probably where he had developed his sticky fingers. Cas was good at it but that didn't mean he never got caught, and when he did….. no one ever stopped the old drunk from bringing down punishment, ever.

Castiel flinched at the memory and walked a little faster away from the house. He came across a line of shops next, the windows displays laced with things he would probably never be able to afford. Cas never really had anything to call his own anyway. Everything was shared amongst the other foster children. Even when he ran away he took nothing more than the clothes on his back. He had no right to take anything else.

Cas hadn't even planned on running away that night. He was just….. so hungry, there had to be something out there. But everything cost money and Cas was clear out of luck in that aspect. Castiel could just barely see the brown leather wallet peeking out from the pocket of a boy in a black hoodie. He would be stupid not to try. The tall boy hadn't suspected a thing as Cas brushed past him until he dug his hands into his now empty pockets and Cas took off running. It wasn't much of a chase and once again Castiel was being punished…. but this time, this one time someone stopped him. The edges of Castiel's mouth twitched up slightly, but really didn't have the energy to smile anymore.

Cas saw the bakery at the end of the block and stole two loafs of fresh bread and a stack of cookies, remembering how Sam seemed to like those, before heading back to the motel. The boy walked back the same path, refusing to look up from the sidewalk and dragging his feet in a gloomy manner. Only Dean was there when he got back, watching something on the crappy motel TV

"Here." Cas said softly, tossing the bag to the Winchester. Dean blinked to him with a confused look.

"What's up kid? You were all rainbows and unicorns when you left." He asked curiously.

"It's nothing." Cas replied as he curled up on the other bed. Dean didn't ask any more questions and honestly Cas was relieved. In the silence Castiel heard the small ruffle of Dean going through his duffle bag before a thud of something landing in front of him. He opened his eyes and saw a small metal rectangle on the bed.

"I saw it earlier and it erm… well it reminded me of you." Dean explained a bit awkwardly. Castiel held it in his hands and examined it. It was a pocket knife, shiny and silver. The blue eyed boy was a little confused until he opened it. Cas' eyes widened in awe and ran along the long black wings that were engraved on each side of the blade.

"D-Dean… thank you so much, it's amazing." Castiel sputtered.

"Don't mention it kid. I guess I have a case of sticky fingers myself." The older Winchester chuckled, curling his fingers, before turning back to the TV. Cas smiled and fiddled with his new knife, his first real possession. And just like that, he was happy.


	5. Chapter 4: Hard To Hide A Smile

**Chapter 4: Hard To Hide A Smile**

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_**AN: As promised, here is a long chapter packed to the brim with fluff with these two losers (and with another song reference for the title). So enjoy because the next two chapters are where shit is really gonna hit the fan. I might post those chapters next weekend due to my spring break quickly coming to an end. Thanks a bunch for people enjoying and following the story. R&amp;R if you like. **_

_**Warning**__: Underage Drinking, Strong Language, Alcohol, Cuties being cute,_

_**TW**__: Drinking,_

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**Dean(17) Sam(13) Castiel(15)**

Castiel had been with the Winchesters for a little over a year now causing a bit of trouble wherever they went and gradually traveling across the country from town to town with only what they could carry with them. Cas had become like family to them now, the trio made sure to take care of each other whenever needed. Castiel had adjusted to the life and when he turned fifteen it didn't take much longer for puberty to hit the boy like a semi-truck. He sprouted upward overnight like a weed now only a couple inches shorter than Dean, which Cas took a certain pride in whenever he stood next to him. His voice deepened dramatically, taking the Winchesters by surprise when they had first heard it. The new lifestyle definitely played its part as well in helping the pale scrawny boy build quite a bit of tanned muscle. Despite Castiel's more defined facial features and jaw line and not to mention fuller lips, not that Dean noticed, he kept an air of innocence about him and overall was still a kid at heart.

There was no denying that he sure as hell looked a lot older, so much so that Dean agreed to make him his own fake ID so that he could come hustle pool and poker with him at the local bars. Sam, who had not quite hit his growth spurt himself, huffed and puffed about not being able to go but in the end looked way too young to come with. Cas was psyched about finally being able to come along side Dean to the bars… well, that was until they actually got there.

The blue eyed boy stood stiffly next to the Winchester, eyes moving frantically around the place. Dean raised an eyebrow and gently tugged him off to the side.

"You know you don't have to do this kid, right? Dean told him, concern leaking into the older boy's voice.

"No! I want to do this." Castiel replied immediately not wanting to let him down. Dean gave him a hard look before letting out a sigh.

"Alright….. then loosen up a little kid. People are gonna look at you weird."The much more experienced boy advised.

"B-but what if we get caught? We're n-nowhere near twenty one." Cas stammered a bit.

"Don't worry about that. These type of guys tend to turn a blind eye if you're entertaining enough." Dean chuckled, but Cas didn't seem to find any comfort in that. "Hey… listen kid; I would never purposely lead you into danger, so just trust me." He said softer. Castiel blinked at the Winchester for a moment before nodding. He trusted him with everything he had and stupidly enough had faith that Dean knew what he was doing.

* * *

Dean played a couple games of pool and easily fooled each drunken man into underestimating the boy. He pocketed seventy bucks off the table from the last game and turned back to Cas, who still had the expression of a frightened lost kitten on his face.

"Dude, remember what I said. Relax!" Dean said, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"I-I" Castiel began to stammer out. The Winchester shook his head and sighed.

"That's it; I'm buying you a drink." Dean said, already directing the boy over to the bar.

"What?!" Cas choked out, to which Dean raided an eyebrow.

"Have you never drank before kid?" He asked curiously. The way Cas turned bright red and looked down at his hands was all the answer the Winchester needed. "It that's the case, now I have to buy you a drink." Dean chuckled, signaling the bartender for two beers and sliding into a booth. The waitress came over with their drinks and the wide eyed expression Cas had on his face manage to trigger a tinge of guilt from Dean for tainting him in a way. But all that flew out the window when the boy brought it to his lips, took a sip, and cringed like a child being forced to eat their vegetables. The Winchester erupted in laughter, earning a glare from Cas. Probably out of pure spite, the blue eyed boy held the drink again with more firmness this time and chugged the rest of it before Dean could even get out a taunt. His eyes widened for a moment, both surprised and impressed before chuckling and joining his friend by chugging his own in the challenge.

* * *

It of course didn't end there. Cas drank even more to prove himself to Dean and Dean drank more merely just to catch up with Castiel. In the end the duo was undeniably and mindlessly hammered to hell.

"You know what Dean," Castiel slurred, grinning brightly up to his best friend. "I think you right about that beer being just what I needed to calm down a bit." The blue eyed boy said as his head rolled back in laughter.

"You were supposed to have a drink not get completely shitfaced dumbass." Dean laughed as well. His eyes suddenly fell onto the boy's exposed collarbone and couldn't stop themselves from traveling along his jaw line and eventually his pump pink lips that were always chapped. They were strenched out in a goofy grin, but he was almost sure they were probably softer than they loo-

Dean quickly shook his head, snapping himself from his train of thought. He cleared his throat and immediately redirected his gaze from his best friend to toward the young attractive waitress, who wore a short skirt and a blouse that showed plenty of cleavage. Dean nudged Cas and nodded towards her grinning.

"Pretty hot huh?" Dean said to him. Cas blinked at him for a moment before looking to the waitress as well.

"Um…. Yeah, definitely." Castiel said awkwardly, shifting in his seat.

"Kid…" The Winchester said, looking to him suspiciously.

"Hm?" The blue eyed boy hummed in response.

"Have you even kissed a girl before?" Dean asked curiously, glancing involuntarily towards his lips again. If the Winchester thought Castiel couldn't have possibly more red than he already was he was sadly mistaken. Cas blushed a bright red, resembling a tomato, that spread all the way to his ears and though he attempted to hide his face in his sweater, he could still hear his frustrated groans. Dean just stared at him.

"Ever?" He asked in disbelief.

""It's just… never came up." Cas explained, his voice a noticeable bit higher in embarrassment. The Winchester now burst out into another fit of drunken laughter, to which Cas shot him the dirtiest of looks before getting up and leaving the booth, murmuring something about getting another drink. After Dean's laughter had subsided, he did feel a little bad for laughing at him but nonetheless, he was sure he had something now to tease the boy with for the next couple months.

Dean glanced back over to where Cas stood at the bar and definitely did not run his eyes over his friend's backside. His not stare was interrupted when someone approached the boy, the waitress from earlier, Dean recalls. He couldn't catch what the two were saying over the drunken babble of the other men in the bar and honestly he didn't know why that bothered him so much. It's because Castiel is like a brother, that's why. Dean said to himself. He's just feeling protective like he would over Sammy, the Winchester concluded. But soon Dean noticed the jerky movements that he noticed Cas always made with his hands whenever he was panicked. Dean leapt forward and forced his legs to cooperate as he made his way toward Cas to help. The older boy threw an arm around the Castiel's shoulder and leaned most of his weight on him, forcing Cas to support him.

"I need … take home kid…. I'm too fucked up to drive." Dean slurred, acting way more drunk than he actually felt.

"I- um… sure Dean. Sorry I gotta go do this." Cas said, catching on quickly. The waitress nodded and moved to make a path for Castiel to drag him out of the bar with a bit of difficulty. He smiled as Dean slumped against a wall, not entirely lying about not being able to make it back to the motel by himself. "Erm…. Thanks Dean, I was sort of lost back there." He said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Don't get all sappy on me kid." Dean laughed as he tried to stand on his own but ended up stumbling, to which Cas caught him. He yawned and patted the boy's back, still laughing. "Let's get back to the motel kid." The Winchester said, holding onto Cas to balance himself. Not that Castiel was he was any better off; he wobbled forward with his hand that somehow made it down to Dean's waist without him realizing.

"I'm not a kid anymore, you know. I'm almost as big as you now." Cas chuckled, nudging him playfully, Dean scoffed.

"No matter how big you are you'll always the scrawny little kid that I found beat to shit in an ally way." The older boy laughed and heard Castiel groan. Dean could see the light tint of another blush on his cheeks and never found it as endearing as he did when Cas did it. The drunken duo decided to cross through an empty field to get to the motel faster, both stumbling over the twigs and long grass. Dean's foot caught and he fell flat on his front side, of course dragging the younger boy down with him. Their laughs rang out across the field as they both flipped onto their backs. The stars were out and Castiel really couldn't bring himself to get back up with the sky so beautiful. Dean was quiet for a while and Cas thought he had maybe fell asleep but when he turned his head the Winchester was staring at them too. The blue eyed boy smiled and turned back to the stars. They were both quiet for a while, just watching them with together.

"Hey Castiel….." Dean said softly. Castiel blinked, caught a little off guard by him saying his actual name.

"Yeah?" Cas replied, not looking away from the night stars.

"I'm sorry about ever calling you dead weight…" The Winchester said sincerely. Cas especially hadn't been expecting that and as he opened his mouth to reply Dean spoke again. "You are so important to Sam and me and I shouldn't have given you such a hard time when we first met." The older boy explained, his voice gradually getting lower. "And truth be told… I need you Cas."

"What?" Cas said, his heart hammering in his chest as he turned to look at Dean. He was asleep, his head gently sinking to one side and a light snore escaping his lips. Castiel blinked and felt his eyelids grow heavy as well, despite how his head was racing. His eyes shut and felt as the cool breeze lulled him to sleep.

* * *

The sunshine, bright against the back of his eyelids, was what awoke Castiel the next morning. The breeze was now chilly but he felt strangely warm. His eyes fluttered open and blinked a few times before glancing around to his surroundings. Castiel's mind immediately snapped to the arms that were around him tightly. Cas lifted his head and felt his heart stop.

Castiel was curled up against his best friend, his head resting on his chest and arm wrapped around his torso. If that wasn't bad enough, the older Winchester's arm was snugly around his shoulder as another one rested on Cas' hip, and their legs intertwined with each others. Cas inhaled sharply at dean stirring in his sleep, his features still so calm and soft as he rested. Castiel couldn't help but let his eyes drink in the sight of his freckled tan skin that was as close as it's ever been to his own face.

He tried to steady his breathing and untangle himself from the Winchester's limbs without waking him. The blue eyed boy eeped when he felt the arms tighten and pull him suddenly flush against the older boy's firm chest. Castiel felt his face grow red hot as he figured he'd have to use another tactic. Cas slowly wiggled and slipped his way out of Dean's arms, forcing him to have to brush against the Winchester's body, definitely getting an unwanted reaction from his groin area. Cas swallowed hard and looked down at his feet once he was out if Dean's grip.

"D-Dean." Castiel stammered, trying to wake him. The older boy groaned awake, his hand lifting up to rub his head.

"Where are we?" Dean mumbled, looking around at the field they were in.

"You don't remember last night?" Castiel asked, a small frown forming on his face.

"Um…. Not much, it gets a little hazy after that fourth beer we chugged." Dean said, blinking at Cas confused to why he wouldn't look at him.

"We're a couple blocks from the motel, must have fell and passed out." Castiel said, his eyes fixed on his fidgeting hands. Dean noticed his jerky movements and flushed cheeks.

"You okay kid?" He asked carefully.

"Yeah, let's just get back to the motel already." Cas said quickly, turning and beginning to walk before Dean could even reply. He nodded and stood, quickly catching up with him as they walked in complete silence that honestly made Dean a little uncomfortable and worry for his friend a bit. Castiel clenched his sweaty hands, his heart still pounding away as they made their way back. Dean opened his mouth to say something but as soon as they opened the door they were welcomed home with a roar of yelling.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU TWO LAST NIGHT?! I WAS WORRIED SICK!" Sam shouted, sounding more like a furious mother than a teenage boy. Both Dean and Cas swallowed hard, knowing they definitely had some explaining to do.


	6. Chapter 5: Slipping

**Chapter 5: Slipping**

_**AN: Sorry for the wait! I forgot how time consuming school actually was but here goes the second to last chapter. It's angsty so beware. **_

_**Warnings: **__Strong Language, Illegal Activities, Angst _

* * *

**Dean(17) Sam(14) Cas(15)**

Sam had scolded them both for what seemed like hours after they told them how drunk they had gotten. They all agreed it would be best to leave that day. The younger Winchester still grumbled as they packed up their stuff and headed towards he tracks. Cas was silent, Having not said a word since they arrived back. Dean glanced over, feeling a lingering feeling of concern for him. Maybe he had said something last night that he didn't remember, but Cas never stayed angry at him even he acted like a complete asshole. Sam noticed the tension as well, their usual humorous banter now replaced with an uncomfortable silence. Castiel stuck closer to Sam, trudging slower than usual, right behind him. While they waited next to the tracks for the train the younger Winchester gave him a worried glance to which he replied with a weak smile to assure he was alright. Sam wasn't convinced. When the train came around Dean jumped on first and extended his hand out to Sam, who took it without another thought, then Cas. The blue eyed boy looked to it then up at Dean as if surprised before turning away and throwing himself onto the train without any aid. Dean blinked at him, trying to fight back the look of hurt from his expression. Castiel felt his stomach lurch in guilt and turned away as well.

"I'm going to go sharpen my knife or something." Dean said quickly, grabbing his bag and moving to the complete other side of the cart as he usually did when he is upset. Cas sighed and moved towards an opposite corner, taking out his own knife that Dean gave him what seemed like forever ago and fiddling with it in his hands. Castiel had acquired a few possessions of his own over the year he had been with the Winchesters but his knife was hands down his most valued. He always made sure it was in his pocket before they left a town just to be sure he didn't leave it behind. Hell, he even ran back nearly three miles back when he realized he dropped it on the way. Cas smiled down at it fondly, the silver still shined bright despite the scratches it had gathered from the constant use for both food and daily tasks. The black wings on the blade looked worn but it still struck Cas as beautiful.

"Cas what's up with you?" Sam said suddenly, interrupting his train of thought as he took a seat next to him.

"Nothing." Castiel replied immediately, though not very convincingly. Sam saw right through him.

"Bullshit. Something happened and you're upset, so come on and tell me." The younger Winchester insisted. Cas usually never kept anything from Sam, always able to confide in him in any situation. But this was different; it was about his big brother, he person who had practically raised him. His gaze involuntarily shifted to Dean, who seemed completely engrossed in the task of his knife maintenance. Sam followed his eyes to his brother and blinked. "Are you mad at him? What did he do? Was it last night?" The boy began, jumping to conclusions.

"What? No!" Cas shook his head quickly. He was not mad at him, he had no right to be.

"Then what is it?" Something is definitely eating at you. Something else happened last night didn't it?" Sam said, hitting him with an intense stare. Castiel remembered hearing Sam talk about having wanted to become a lawyer when he grew up and boy did he play the part. From the questions he bombarded him with to the look he gave him made Cas feel there was no point in lying to the younger boy.

"I'm not angry or upset. I'm just…..conflicted." Castiel told him "And it does have something to do with last night." He admitted. Sam smiled triumphantly at being right and gave him a look, encouraging him to go on. "Well we told you how we got so stupidly drunk right?" Cas said, rubbing the back of his neck. Sam nodded before his eyed widened in horror.

"Oh my god you guys didn't-" The younger boy began.

"No! No No No! Of course not!" Cas corrected quickly, a fierce blush spreading across his cheeks at the idea. Sam let out a sigh of relief, giving Cas a curious look. "Uh…. Well, we passed out in some field after we left the bar and woke up in a…compromising position." He explained.

"Compromising how?" Sam asked with a raised eyebrow at his friend. Cas averted his eyes and blushed brighter.

"We were…. kind of….. well… curled around each other." The blue eyed boy mumbled.

"You mean you guys were cuddling?" Sam said, trying his best to keep in his laughter. Cas hid his face in his hands but didn't deny it.

"Shut up." Castiel grumbled, shoving at Sam's side. "I moved before he woke up. He doesn't even know." He clarified. Sam glanced from Dean and back to Cas again, a bit confused.

"So why are you all distant? Are you embarrassed or something? I'm pretty sure Dean would laugh it off too. I mean, after being all flustered over it for a moment." Sam said confidently.

"It's not just that…." Castiel said, still averting his gaze. The younger Winchester tilted his head slightly but waited for Cas to continue. "I've been feeling ….strange around Dean now." He explained.

"So he makes you uncomfortable now?" Sam asked, concerned.

"No! Well, yes. Sort of… It's just now whenever I'm around him or even think of him I imagine him so close and it just makes my hands clammy and my stomach flip." Cas told him, genuinely confused himself by the feeling. Sam's eyes grew wide again, immediately catching onto what his friend was saying. Cas was in love with Dean and he had no idea. The younger Winchester scoffed in his head at how it sounded like a bad teen novel.

"I get it." Sam nodded, not wanting to force the idea onto Cas. Castiel had to find it out on his own, he figured.

* * *

Cas eventually changed the subject and they continued to talk till Dean finally signaled that it was time to get off. The trio jumped off the train and preceded without a word until the older Winchester noticed the apple trees on one of the farms and sure enough they were short enough for one of them to climb. He nudged his brother and gestured toward the tree quietly, to which he nodded in understanding and passed the silent message to Cas. The blue eyed boy wordlessly volunteered himself to be the climber, already half way up the apple tree by the time the brothers had caught up to him. Cas perched himself on a branch that seemed like it would be able to support his weight and began to throw down only the nicest looking apples at the peak of ripeness. The Winchesters stood below catching them and stuffing them into a bag. It took a bit of will power to not snack on one right then and there. He knew they shouldn't stick around for too long. Just as Cas tried to move on to another section a sudden sound of a shotgun cocking made him freeze. They all stood as still as statues, not daring to move a muscle.

"I know you little fuckers are out there." Shouted the farmer, who wasn't too far away. Dean quickly turned to Sam and Cas, already sprouting a plan.

"Guys, head back to the tracks. We'll meet up there and don't breathe a sound, got it?" He said, dead serious. They both nodded, putting the plan immediately into action. Sam, being the smallest, was the farthest out, easily maneuvering through the grass and stealthily making his way back. Dean wasn't too far behind him. Castiel tried his best to follow his lead and climb down from the tree without a sound but when he put his weight on one of the branches it snapped right in two, the sound echoing through the open space of the farm. It sent him tumbling right to the ground with a hard thud that managed to knock the wind out of him. The next sound was a gunshot, striking the tree right where Cas used to be.

"There you are." The farmer growled. At the gun shot Dean immediately abandoned the idea of hiding, running as fast as he could back to where Cas was.

"Come on! Run!" Dean said urgently, tugging him up to his feet. Cas didn't even think, he just followed and let Dean lead him out of danger. The farmer shot again, hitting another tree they had just passed, he was pursuing them. "We'll lose him in the woods." The older Winchester said, grasping Castiel's hand and weaving them both into the seemingly endless amount of trees. He couldn't even keep track of where they were going anymore, he just trusted Dean, trusted him with everything and let him guide him through the dense woods. The hand that linked them felt like fire, threatening to singe his skin with its heat. It let go far too soon. When the farmers curses died out they stopped, Dean slipping his hand out from where they were previously laced with Cas'. The absence of heat almost made him want to reach out and grab Dean's hand, never wanting to let go. Almost...

They were both out of breath and Cas half expected Dean to shout at him for being so clumsy, for giving them away, and putting them all in danger. But his thoughts of self loathing were interrupted by a beautiful laugh.

Dean's.

It's been a while since he had last heard it genuinely.

Castiel looked up at him in surprise and couldn't bring himself to even consider looking away, a small smile forming on his own lips. Dean looked back at the younger boy grinning widely, his eyes bright with the light of the full moon that shone through the trees over head. The light also manage to aluminate the freckles that were scattered across the Winchester's face, the softer looking features, and those god damn plump lips that seemed to pull him closer like a magnet. Castiel realized he was more angry at himself for putting Dean into this danger. The thought of something happening to him managed to make Cas' chest ache in a way he couldn't understand. All he knew is that he wanted to be closer. He needed to be closer. Dean's eyes looked so deeply into Cas' that he felt his grip on his self control falter and he surged forward, sealing their lips. It happened so fast it took Castiel's mind a couple seconds to catch up with his body. Besides Dean clutching at Cas' arms, neither pulling him closer or away, he was basically frozen stiff. He pulled back and looked to the older boy who stared back at him with wide eyes lock onto his own, not saying anything for what seemed like forever. Castiel tensed as well, holding his breath without realizing it. They stood there for a couple moments and Cas winced at Dean's tightening grip on his arms. He must have noticed because he immediately let go, taking a step back.

"W-we should get back to Sam. He'll start to worry." Cas sputtered out, taking off in a run toward where he thought the tracks were, not even looking back to see if Dean was following. The blood was rushing so loudly in his ears he couldn't hear the calls from behind him. He felt as if he had single handedly ruined everything. His and Dean's friendship was bound to go to shit now and this had to be one of the biggest mistakes he could have ever made.

But why didn't it feel like one?

When they got back to Sam he could immediately feel the tension between them, now stronger, but thought it best not to ask sensing no one would be willing to tell him.

* * *

That was five days ago and nothing had really changed. Dean and Cas had not said a word to each other if they could avoid it, not even daring to look at each other. Their playful banter and jokes that they would usually exchanged while they were about to shop lift a store for necessities like now was nothing more than a thick tense silence. Sam looked over to Cas worried. He looked like hell, like he hadn't bothered to take care of himself anymore. He couldn't remember the last time he saw the blue eyes boy eat or sleep for that matter. The younger Winchester had tried to ask Cas what was up but he now flat out refused to tell him what was wrong.

When they got to the store they split up as usual without a word. Castiel glanced over to where Sam and Dean were strategically placed in the aisles. He could barely see him. Cas' hands shook, he was out of it and he knew it but he couldn't back out. He refused to back out now. Cas bet that his sticky fingers were the only reasons he was still allowed to stay with the Winchesters and broken or not he wanted to be with them. He heard as one of the food packages fell out of his pocket and hit the ground.

"Shit" Castiel muttered under his breath as he tried to casually pick it up and slip it back into his pocket. He was too slow, a hand grabbed onto his forearm firmly and yanked him up.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The owner growled lowly, as if not wanting to draw the attention of the other customers, though he still looked furious. Cas looked wide eyed back at him before trying to tug free. It was no use. The boy glanced back to where he caught a glimpse of Sam and Dean, unaware of the situation he was in. This would get all three of them arrested for sure.

No, he wouldn't drag them down as well.

"Crackerjacks!" Castiel yelled out and immediately heard the noise of scattering feet. He looked back again and caught a glimpse of Dean running out behind Sam before disappearing around a corner. Something inside Cas ached, knowing very well that would probably be last time he saw the green eyed boy with the golden freckles. He smiled sadly, no longer fighting the hand tugging him towards the back of the store.

* * *

"Where the fuck is he?" Dean cursed after twenty long minutes of waiting for Cas to return. He was tapping his foot impatiently, getting more aggravated by the second.

"I have a bad feeling about this Dean. Maybe we should go look for him." Sam suggested, obviously concerned. Dean sighed but nodded, getting up from the curb he was sitting on and started to backtrack to the convenient store. The older Winchester felt his heart begin to race when he saw the cop car pull away, both brothers braking out into a run towards it. They were too late, the car had already sped away.

"M-maybe they were here to report the shoplifting." Dean said nervously, but Sam was crouched down, picking up something.

"I...don't think so Dean." The younger Winchester said, turning to show what was in his hand. Dean couldn't breathe. Silver and shining in Sam's shaky hands abandoned was...

Cas' knife.


	7. Chapter 6: I Hoped and I Waited

**Chapter 6: I Hoped and I Waited**

* * *

_**AN: Hello my dear readers and welcome back! This is the last official chapter of plot but for being so good to me I'll be sure to add a bonus chapter in the next day or two! (Since I am adding another that is where the smut shall be so beware!) I loved this story a lot and I hope you loved it too and how I chose to end it. :) Thank you for your support!**_

**Warnings:** _Strong/Hateful Language, Violence, Angst_

**TW:** _Abuse, Fighting, Homophobia_

* * *

**Dean (17) Sam (13) Castel (15)**

"He is an idiot! A complete idiot!" Dean growled, pacing back and forth the length of the motel room since he could not for the life of him sit still. "We could've helped get him out! Why the hell would he be so stupid and-" He couldn't even finish his sentence from frustration. He continued to shout and pace as is if Cas was in the room to scold. Sam watched from one of the lumpy motel beds, concerned for his older brother. It was plain as day that he was worried out of his mind, Sam had honesty never seen him in such a state before.

"Dean, calm down." Sam said, trying to prevent his brother from having a panic attack right then and there. The younger Winchester was scared and worried about Cas too but Dean going into a frenzy is the last thing they really needed.

"I can't Sammy! He was my responsibility, like you are!" Dean yelled back, like he could no longer control the volume of his voice. Sam's eyes narrowed.

"That's a load of bull! This is way different than him just being your responsibility and you know it." Sam stated, knowing very well why his brother was so panicked.

"What the hell are you talking about? Of course it is." Dean said defensively, his body tensing. Why else would he feel like this?

"Ugh you're such a moron" Sam groaned and glared at his brother, beginning to get frustrated by his cluelessness. Dean looked only back at him with genuine confusion in his expression. Sam had had enough, he couldn't take it anymore. Screw them finding it out on their own. "Cas is in love with you!" He blurted out. Dean froze as the words left his brother's mouth, looking as though every muscle in his body had stiffened at once. It made Sam wonder if maybe he had made the wrong move by telling him. "Listen…. I know this is scary, especially for you, but-" He began but Dean was already striding towards the motel door. Sam was faster and sprung up to block it with his body, his eyes clamped shut, expecting to be yanked out of the way.

"Move." Dean ordered, his voice wavering like he'd never heard it do before. Sam opened his eyes and saw the look of pure panic plain on his features.

"No. I'm not letting you run from this Dean." Sam stated firmly.

A thousand things were running through the older Winchester's mind, Cas being the main focus. The word 'Love' being uttered made everything screech to a halt. How the hell was he supposed to deal with that? Everything wasn't making any sense at all. He was going to be sick. He had to get out. He had to leave, now.

"Dean! Pull your shit together!" Sam yelled, shaking him when he hadn't moved from his spot. He hadn't noticed he was tugging at his own hair till he felt the tear of the strands from his scalp. Dean was breathing hard but he didn't know why. Sam was right though, he could see that. This was different than just a sense of responsibility. How had he not realized how attached and close he grew to the blue eyed boy with the feather light touch that could probably rob him blind, who was just so eager to learn their lifestyle that ultimately led him into this mess, who was able to joke with him and Sam as if he'd known them his whole life, who's confused head tilt admittedly made Dean's heart beat faster, who's smile was as infectious as his laugh, who's lips were so soft against his own if for only the briefest moment…..

"God damn it!" Dean growled, slumping defeated on one of the motel beds. He loved him. He loved him so damn much. How hadn't he noticed it before? Why now when there was a possibility that he'll never see him again? Cas may never know he felt the same way. Dean threw something straight across the room. It shattered and Dean really could care less what it was. He reached for something else but before he could fling it the gleam of the black wings caught his eye, Cas's knife. Dean's grip tightened around the weapon, his knuckles nearly turning white as he stared down at it.

"Dean?" Sam said in a small voice, standing a yard or so away from his brother now.

"We have to find him Sammy." Dean stated, his voice no longer strained or scared but now could be described as determined.

"We will." Sam nodded.

…

**Two Months Later**

Cas was curled in on himself on the worn out cot that was far too small for him. His knees pressed up against his chest as he stared at the chipped dirty wall that was painted an ugly beige. There wasn't much else in the small second story room other than that: a rotting desk with engravings from the children who occupied it before him, a matching chair with uneven wobbly legs, and a broken dresser that contained the small amount of possessions Cas had accumulated over the year he'd been away. It didn't, however, include his most treasured knife. He must have dropped it at some point while being arrested. Cas would be lying if he said he was anything else but absolutely crushed at the discovery. Then again, it was just one more bad thing to add to the list. He was right back from where he came from, the very foster home he had run away from. Cas couldn't help but chuckle bitterly, it was just like Dean promised when they first met. He immediately winced at the thought of the older boy…..

The small space was better than the jail cell he had slept in the first night, though not my much. The store owner didn't press charges in the end. Cas saw the sickening sight of pity in the adult's eyes once he learned he was an just an orphan. He had to clench his fists and bite his tongue so he didn't manage to make things worse. The foster family hardly recognized the now taller and built boy that returned to then, Castiel wished they hadn't. He never imagined the house could have possibly been worse, but to his misery, he was wrong. Cas was kept on such a tight leash for the past couple of months he was surprised he wasn't actually in one. He was monitored constantly, all but forbidden to take a step outside if it wasn't absolutely necessary. Despite Cas' undeniable growth, his foster father had no problem with showing him his place like nothing had changed. It happened more frequently than before, just to get the point across that they could. They held nothing back and he had the marks to prove it. Cas didn't even fight back, though he very much could have, it didn't matter. He was already so numb.

Castiel would never admit it but he cried the first night back in the jail cell, silent sobs into the sleeves of his tattered coat. He was stupid to have hoped that the Winchesters would find him, that they would want to after all the troubles he had caused them, but he did. He expected Sam and Dean to burst in the front door and tell him to run, but after a week his hope began to waver and day after day the cold truth that they weren't coming set into his heart.

Cas groaned and hugged his knees tighter to his chest. It was the only thing that really hurt anymore, remembering Winchesters…..especially Dean. Cas tried not to but he ended up doing it anyway, bringing back the memories that were his source of happiness and pain. He ruined everything because he suddenly grew too close too fond of the older Winchester. He had been such a fool to think Dean would feel the same way. Someone as brilliant and clever as Dean deserved someone better than some clingy broken runaway. This was where he belonged, not with the Winchesters…not with Dean and deep down in his heart he always knew it.

Despite the crushing reality he thought about Dean a lot. He almost seemed like a dream now. Maybe he was…. Maybe Cas never left and he imagined this knight and shining armor to take him away, if even for a little while. Maybe he imagined his laugh that sounded reminded Cas of music, the way he moved with absolute grace whether he was jumping off a train car or beating the living shit out of someone, the beauty of the strong features of Dean's face that showed the remains of the struggles he was forced to bare, the strength of his arms as they held him close, too close, against his warm body, the scent of leather and apple pie from when he kissed him in the woods. Maybe he imagined it all…..

"_Cas!" _

Castiel can remember vividly the roughness of the older Winchester's voice, almost too vividly. The memory makes his heart ache it sounds too rea-

"Castiel!"

Cas shoots up from his cot, looking around the small room frantically, there's nothing. He's driving himself mad, he's sure of it. Now he's even having hallucinations. The sudden bang on the window nearly made the blue eyed boy jump out of his skin. There's no way that was in his head. Cas hesitantly got up from the cot and made his way to the window, opening it with trembling hands. He stuck his head out to see but it was too dark and all the sounds had stopped. All that was in view was the old rotting tree outside. Maybe the sound was just its branches against the window….

Cas sighed, his disappointment feeling like a kick in the gut. He should be over this stupid hope that the Winchesters would come back for him. Cas resumed his position on the creaky cot, not bothering to close the window.

_THUD_

Cas' heart quickened as he heard the thump of something landing in the room. He shouldn't…..there's nothing there….it's all in his mind. Cas turned slowly from his position on the cot, expecting to see himself in an empty room.

"Hey kid." Dean said, a genuine smile spreading clear across his face.

"D-Dean?" Cas sputtered, immediately sitting up to face him. He looked over the other boy and could help but feel his heart lurch. He looked tired, even in the dark; the rings under his eyes were visible. Dean's hair was sticking up a million different places at once, looking as if something had been putting at it. Despite that the smile that he gave Cas was so beautiful and so familiar he had to look away to control himself. This isn't right…. "What are you doing here?" He asked, eyes glued to the floor.

Dean's expression immediately dropped to a confused look. "What do you mean 'what am I doing here'? I mean I'm sorry it took so long. You were a real bitch to track down but I'm here to take you back ho-" He started but stopped dead in his tracks when he got a good look at Cas' face. There were bruises littering his cheekbones and chin and it didn't take long to notice the obvious hand marks down his arms. Dean didn't say a word, he just took a step forward and dropped to his knees so that he was eye-level with the younger boy. He took hold of Cas' chin with a feather light touch, making sure not to hurt him, and examined the dark purple marks with a blank expression. "Who did this to you?" Dean finally spoke, his voice was even but Cas could just tell that he was seething. He didn't meet the Winchester's eyes. This wasn't his fight and he refused to make it so. "Castiel. Who. Did. This. To. You." Dean repeated through clenched teeth, anger leaking into his voice. The sound of him saying Cas' full name made a shudder shoot down his back.

"D-Don't worry about it. It's not your problem." Cas said quickly, moving his head so that it was no longer in Dean's hold. He expected the other to blow up in anger but instead Cas was only met with a utterly shocked expression. It didn't last long.

"Like hell it isn't! Where the fuck is this coming from anyway?" Dean nearly shouted.

"I never belonged with you and Sam. I mean I-I just ended up making things weird for all of us because how I felt about you. I got so caught up in it that put both of you guys in danger. I foolishly thought your kind of lifestyle was for me…..but I was wrong. This is where I belong." Cas said, not meeting the others gaze. It wrenched his heart to say it but he had to. It was the truth. Dean was absolutely silent for a few moments. Cas almost wondered if he had left.

"Do you honestly believe that bullshit?" Dean said, in shock. He took a deep breath to calm himself and once again grasped Cas' chin so that he would look at him. "Kid, this was completely my fault. I was the one who made things weird by freaking out when you kissed me. I was just so- so… stupid and confused about how I felt towards you. I'm sorry Cas, I'm so sorry. Please, you belong with us….. You belong with me and I-I need you." Dean finished, his green eyes pleading the younger boy to forgive him. Cas couldn't breathe, he looked back at him with wide eyes.

"B-but I'm just some broken runaway Dean…." The younger boy said, frowning at the other in confusion to why he'd want someone like him around. He glanced away, embarrassed that he had said it out loud but looked right back when he heard Dean chuckle.

"Kid look who you're talking to. Join the club." Dean said shaking his head. The thought itself actually made the blue eyed boy laugh as well.

"Then…. I'd like you to take me home." Cas smiled up to the Winchester, not particularly talking about the motel the brothers were probably staying but rather back to him and Sam, his real family, his real home. A grin returned back to the older boy's face as he pulled him in for a tight embrace. Cas was surprised for a moment at the physical gesture but quickly wrapped his arms around Dean as well, taking everything that he had missed so dearly in the past months.

"Get your things; I'm going to get you out of here." Dean said as he moved towards the window. Cas moved quickly and got out his old duffle bag, throwing his few possessions into it. It took no more than a couple minutes before he zipped it up and threw it over his shoulder, that's when he saw there was no longer a smile on Dean's face.

"What's wrong?" Cas asked, worried.

"The branch I used to get in here….. It snapped and any other branches are too small, too risky." Dean frowned, looking around for any other means to escape. Cas looked back to the bedroom door, it was usually locked from the outside but he knew he could pick it. Dean couldn't be here in the morning, he had to get him out or he'd be in worse trouble than him. Cas sighed, he knew what he had to do and wasted no time, getting a couple paperclips from the desk and getting to work.

"When I open this door, I'll create a distraction and you run down stairs out the back door, got it?" Cas said, the feel of being the one giving orders was particularly new to him.

"Are you crazy? No way!" Dean said, refusing to let Cas to that for him.

"You'll be taken away if they catch you here. That'd leave Sam by himself. Besides, what's the worst that can happen to me?" Cas said, as if it were no big deal.

Dean narrowed his eyes. "They'll hurt you." He nearly growled.

"I'd rather it be me than you." The younger boy said, getting the door open.

"Let me bottom line this for you. I'm not leaving here without you." Dean said, grasping Cas' arm so that he would look at him.

"Well you are gonna have to." Cas replied, shrugging out of Dean's hold and running out the door.

"Damn it." The Winchester swore as he ran out to try and catch him but the house was huge and he soon found himself lost.

Cas ran as fast as he could to the other side of the house, making as much noise as possible. It was late but he knew that his foster father would still be up drinking at this time. Castiel spotted an empty beer bottle on the floor and shrugged, this will have to do. He chucked it as hard as he could into the nearest wall, wincing at the loud crash that followed. There was silence for a moment and Cas wondered if he would have to do it again but soon enough he heard the cursing as someone was quickly making their way to the hall Cas was in.

Dean heard the loud crash as well and quickly ran in the direction of the sound. He soon heard another noise too, a voice. "What the hell are you doing out of your room you piece of shit." It slurred angrily, making Dean run even faster.

Cas felt as his arm was grabbed with a painfully tight grip and dragged back to his room. He resisted, stalling to buy Dean more time to escape rather than for himself till he was suddenly thrown to the doorway of his room. The blue eyed boy sat up only to be met with a backhand across the face, the smack of skin echoing through the hall. Cas didn't have much time to recover before he was grabbed by his collar and hoisted up to meet the angry drunk's face.

"You listen to me boy and you listen well, the next time I catch your worthless sorry ass outside that room I'm gonna-" He didn't get farther than that before being tackled roughly to the ground by Dean.

"Don't you fucking touch him!" The Winchester snarled as he climbed atop of him and threw punch after punch at the grown man. Dean was so completely livid he grew sloppy, leaving himself open for only a moment but that's all it took. The man punched him with such force it knocked him back to the floor. Dean was dazed for a moment but he sat up he was kicked in the gut so hard by the drunk it knocked the wind out of him.

"Stop!" Cas yelled as he stepped in front of Dean to block him from his foster father. "Don't take another step towards him or I swear, you'll be sorry you did." He threatened the man with absolute hatred in his eyes. The man narrowed his eyes back at Castiel, before a realization hit him.

"This is who you ran off with ain't it?" He slurred, drunkenly. Cas gritted his teeth. "What are ya fags or something?" The man spat with disgust in his features, before turning into something close to amusement. "Bet you're just his little bitch aren't 'cha? He saw you as an easy piece of ass so you ran off with him and he bent you over his-"

"Shut up!" Cas yelled back at him as he launched forward and thrust the heal of his hand into the man's nose, effectively breaking his nose. He staggered back and Cas took the chance to front kick him through the doorway of his room. The grown man landed on his back utterly stunned and Cas spotted yet another empty beer bottle on the floor. The younger boy broke it over his head, knocking him out. Cas quickly grabbed his duffle bag, retreated to the hall and locked the door behind him. He knelt down next to Dean, who was still on the floor looking at him in complete awe.

"Kid….you're awesome." The Winchester grinned at him.

"Are you alright?" Cas asked, ignoring him as he checked him over.

"Um yeah…. I think so." Dean nodded. Sure he was in for one hell of a bruise later but he'll live.

"Good, now run." Castiel said, taking hold of Dean's hand and guiding him through the house and out the front door. From there Dean took the lead, not slowing down or letting go of Cas' hand, even as they neared the motel. They stopped outside the door, chests heaving as they both tried to catch their breath

"Oh yeah, by the way…." Dean said between breaths, letting go of Cas' hand to dig into his pocket. "Keep this safe for me will ya?" He said, grabbing the younger boy's hand to place the silver pocket knife in it. Cas' eyes went wide in shock as he looked at it. Dean's lips twitched up into a smile at the surprised expression on the other's face. It didn't last long because the blue eyed boy surged forward, arms wrapping around Dean tightly as he mashed their lips together in a way that was almost painful. Dean was tense for a moment, taken by total surprise, before placing his hands on Cas' hips to bring him closer.

The kiss was way better than the first, in Cas' opinion, now that both parties were participating. It was everything the first kiss should have been, slow and passionate with Dean's hands cradling him, Cas' hands carding through the older boy's hair, small needy sounds escaping both of their lips. They came apart far too quickly when the motel door opened to show Sam. They were both disheveled with puffy red spit slicked lips. Dean opened his mouth to say something but Sam spoke first.

"It's about damn time." The younger Winchester rolled his eyes, shutting the door again before he witnessed something that really would scar him for life.

Dean doesn't think he'd seen Cas blush so red in his life.


	8. Chapter 7: BAMTSWHM (Bonus)

**Chapter 7: It Breaks a Man to See What He Misses (Bonus)**

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_**AN: Ah I am so sorry this took literally forever to write and post. Life happened then after it kind of slipped my mind. To make it up to you guys here goes some lengthy smut. And with that here we are (with our last lyric as a chapter title) the final chapter! This is sort of the epilogue I guess; it is mostly smut but has a bit of plot with it as well because I'm not one to write pure PWPs. This has been a joy to write and maybe somewhere in the future I'll add to it because I did leave some loose ends but for now this is the end! Also if you haven't heard the song To Have a Home by the beautiful Darren Criss I HIGHLY recommend you do so!**_

**Warnings: **_Underage Sex, Sexual Content, Strong Language, Bit of Angst_

**TW: **_Sex_

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**Dean (18) Sam (14) Castiel (16)**

Dean Winchester wasn't awoken by his usual alarm or even the streams of the evening light peeking in through the curtains. It was instead a pillow being roughly thrown in his face that jolted the Winchester awake. He immediately shot up, startled by the unexpected action and heard the not-so-subtle laughter from the foot of his bed where his boyfriend stood red handed. The blue eyed boy stood there proud, nearly grinning ear to ear with the satisfaction of sweet revenge.

"Rise and shine assbutt." Castiel said as he strolled around to sit next to Dean on the motel bed..

"Assbutt?" Dean questioned groggily, raising an amused eyebrow at the younger boy as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Shut up." Cas rolled his eyes and laughed, leaning in to kiss him sweetly. "And happy birthday." He said with a grin but Dean only blinked at him in confusion.

"Birthday?" Dean repeated, looking at the date on the clock for confirmation that it was indeed January 24. "Huh... Would you look at that..." He chuckled, bemused as to how he had forgotten his own birthday.

"You never cease to amaze me Dean." Cas said sarcastically as he shook his head at the older boy.

"It's just another day really. I'm just another year older now. That's all." Dean shrugged, glancing around the motel room. "Where's Sam?" He asked with a frown, not seeing his brother anywhere in the motel room.

"He's out on a supply run." Cas explained, avoiding Dean's eyes. Dean looked back to him skeptically but nodded, glancing back to the clock again for the time this time. It was almost noon.

"It's so late, what happened to my alarm?" Dean asked confused.

"Birthday boys get to sleep in." Castiel said smiling to him. Cas knew Dean would insist on going with Sam if he was awake and that'd just end up ruining everything he had planned. "I have a surprise for you." Cas told him, getting up from the bed to go get a plastic bag that was on the table.

"Aw, you didn't have to get me anything kid. Hell, even I forgot." Dean joked, looking to the bag curiously.

"Sometimes I have the feeling that if I didn't take care of you no one would." Cas said as he took out a large tin of pecan pie from the bag. He had actually bought it with his money that he saved from secretly hustling poker at the bar alone. Cas wanted it to mean more than just stealing from some bakery. He earned that money and wanted nothing else than to spend it on him. Dean blinked in surprise at the dessert before excitement fully engulfed his features.

"You're awesome Cas!" Dean said in awe as he surged forward to get out of bed and have a big slice of pie, but he quickly stopped him.

"No, not yet. I have something else for you too." Cas told him with a small smile.

"Come on kid you're killin' me. You really didn't have t-" Dean started to say but Cas just shushed him.

"Close your eyes." The younger boy said as calm as he could manage. Dean only eyed him skeptically. "Please." He said softer and the Dean really couldn't bring himself to do anything but comply. Cas took a long breath and built up his courage before quickly climbing atop of Dean's lap straddling him. Dean's eyes snapped open instantly, his hands coming up to the boys hips instinctively to help keep him balanced. "I'm your gift." Cas said softly, his hands resting upon his shoulders. "I want to be all yours." Dean blinked at the blue eyed boy for another moment before a wide smile broke out across his face.

"Well if that's the case, then I actually really _really_ do like presents." Dean chuckled and leaned in to kiss him deeply. Cas immediately melted into the kiss, pulling him closer so that they were tightly against each other. He hesitantly swiped his tongue across Dean's bottom lip, asking for entrance. Dean could only hold back from chuckling and grinned before allowing them to explore each other's mouths. The definitely more experienced Winchester, quickly took over by taking the chance to map out every inch of Cas' wonderfully warm mouth. The taste was something he loved getting used to. Castiel let out a small moan, gripping at Dean's shoulders a little tighter and gently pushing the other boy's back against the headboard of the motel bed. Dean seemed too preoccupied with Castiel's mouth to notice. Cas' heart was racing as he tried to smoothly move things along. He dipped his hips down and proceeded to grind them shamelessly into Dean's. The friction was amazing but sadly didn't last long before Dean's strong hands that were holding his hips suddenly stilled him, though not before a low groan reluctantly left older boy's lips. Dean pulled back from Cas and looked at him with confusion lacing his features.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

"W-well….It's your birthday….. and you're eighteen now." Castiel said, still a bit breathless from their brief make out. Dean stared back at him a moment before the realization actually hit him. His green eyes widened and quickly moved to sit up, making sure he kept Cas' hips still as possible.

"Cas, no." Dean said firmly, frowning to the other boy.

"Why not?" Castiel asked, definitely disappointed.

"First of all, you are so not legal yet, kid. And second, you shouldn't automatically feel obligated to do this for me because I'm eighteen." Dean pointed out, giving Cas a stern look.

"Dean we do illegal things on a daily basis. Suddenly you want to be a man of the law?" Cas scoffed and rolled his eyes. "And it's not just because you're eighteen now... I've been thinking about this for a while." The blue eyed boy said, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

"No, Cas." Dean said in a softer but final tone, averting his eyes. Castiel's face instantly fell but he obeyed and awkwardly crawled off of him. Cas sat on the other bed, frowning down at his feet for a few moments. The silence was beginning to suffocate Dean but he wasn't sure of what else to say.

"Can I ask you something?" Cas finally spoke, looking anywhere but the other boy.

"Okay..." Dean nodded, desperate to rid of the tension.

"Is the reason you won't go any farther with me because you don't find me….. you know… sexually attractive?" Castiel asked, clearly embarrassed as he quickly glanced up at him. Dean froze, caught off guard by the outrageous question. Cas noticed Dean's reaction and tried to expand upon it. "I-I mean, I know you've slept with plenty of girls before and as far as I know I'm the first guy you've been with. Maybe it's just the fact that you still see me as some naïve child or something." He rambled on, looking to Dean for some sort of answer."I-I guess what I'm asking is…..do you just not desire me in that kind of way?"

"What? No! I mean yes! I mean….that's not it!" The older Winchester replied, still bewildered by the whole conversation. How could Cas even think that? "Can we just drop this subject please?" Dean asked since this was all just giving him a headache now.

Cas couldn't see what other reason it could be. He saw the way Dean would easily lust over girls in their travels. Here he was practically throwing himself at Dean and they have yet to go beyond anything more than kissing. It just had to be something wrong with Cas. He quickly stood, still not daring to look at Dean.

"Yeah sure, I'm going to see if Sam needs any help." Cas mumbled, the feeling of rejection now hitting him hard like a punch in the gut. He turned and walked briskly toward the motel door.

"Cas!" Dean called out, leaping off the bed and catching the younger boy's wrist so that he wouldn't leave. Cas stopped but refused to turn around and look at him. Dean's stomach lurched in guilt, hesitating a moment before he spoke. "I'm scared, okay?" He said finally, not wanting Cas to blame himself for his uncertainty. The blue eyed boy blinked back at him in confusion.

"Scared of what?" Castiel asked slowly.

"Scared of pushing you, of doing something wrong and hurting you." Dean said quickly, gripping his wrist tighter. "Of losing you….."

"What are you talking about?" Cas asked confused. He knew Dean would never hurt him. He trusted him with everything and anything. The older Winchester sighed and looked down.

"See, you don't even know what you're asking for kid." Dean said, shaking his head. Cas immediately glared at him and marched forward, causing Dean to step back till his legs hit the motel bed. Castiel had officially had enough of being undermined like this just because he was younger. He pushed Dean back onto the mattress and climbed atop his lap again, confident and sure this time. Before the other had a chance to protest Cas grabbed his face and kissed him hard and passionately.

"I. Am. Not. A. Child. Dean." Castiel growled still glaring back into Dean's eyes, refusing to let the other look away. "You are not going to hurt me. I know you won't. I trust you and no matter what happens I'll still be here." He said, kissing him again with less force. "I want to be yours Dean." Cas repeated. "In every way possible." He added with another kiss. Dean felt as his resolve dwindle almost completely as Cas moved his body to slot perfectly with his own. It felt so right, so natural like this is where the blue eyed boy belonged. He really did want Cas too, _badly_, but above all else he needed to do this right.

"Cas…" Dean breathed, "-this kind of thing takes preparation, I don't- _I won't_ hurt you." He said as Cas pulled back with flushed cheeks.

"Um….. well like I said I've been planning this for a while." Cas explained, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a small container of lube. Dean looked at the bottle in his hand and back at him before laughing lightly.

"You really weren't kidding kid." Dean chuckled, leaning back again. "What about Sam? He might be back from the supply run any moment." He asked, not wanting his brother to walk in on something he'd rather not see.

"I took care of that too….." Cas said hesitantly. "I spared him the details but I told him to take his time and keep out for a couple hours." He admitted, blush growing darker.

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed, seeing that this was definitely something Castiel really wanted. "Fine… Fine we'll do this but you have to promise me something Cas." He said, looking back at the younger boy seriously.

"Anything." Castiel immediately replied, knowing that there was no question he'd do whatever the other boy asked.

"If…. if you feel uncomfortable or it hurts too much and you want to stop you don't hesitate to tell me, okay?" Dean spoke, his eyes searching for any kind of doubt as he looked back into Cas' blue, trusting blue orbs.

The tenderness in his look made Castiel feel nothing but utterly safe in Dean's arms. He couldn't be more sure that he wanted to go through with this. "There is no one on this earth I trust more than you. I promise I will." Cas agreed, leaning down to kiss him softly.

Dean released a breath he hadn't realize he was holding and nodded, allowing himself to let his guard down so that he could now fully enjoy the boy that he adored just sitting on his lap. "Okay." He said simply, before rolling them over so that Cas' back was firmly on the mattress and Dean was comfortably between his legs. In no time he began kissing up the length of the younger boy's neck till he reached his ear. "Then I'm all yours Cas." Dean whispered softly, making a pleasant shiver run up Castiel's spine. He felt as Cas fisted his shirt and tugged him forward so that their lips could meet in a heated kiss that made the older boy's head spin.

Cas rolled his hips up into Dean's and prided himself at the groan that spilled out from his beautiful lips. The Winchester retaliated by grinding down his own hips into Castiel, who let out a deliciously low moan that Dean definitely wouldn't mind hearing over and over again. Dean slipped his hands beneath Cas' thin t-shirt and ran his hands slowly over Cas's torso, but not quite taking the garment off yet. Castiel grew impatient and took no time in shedding the garment immediately, wanting to move this along as quick as possible.

"Eager are we?" Dean smirked, glancing down at Cas' hands that were now tugging at his own shirt as well. He grasped the other boy's hands and swiftly pinned them to either side of his head. "Not so fast. I intend to enjoy you as much as possible." Dean said, though his eyes skimmed over the now exposed skin almost hungrily. Cas only let out a low whine before the older boy responded by kissing every bit of skin he could get his mouth on.

The nips and open mouth kisses Dean was leaving on Cas' skin were driving him mad. His whole body was flushed red with need and embarrassment at the noises the older boy was forcing out from his throat. Dean was, no doubt about it, loving the little needy moans he heard from Cas, especially when he decided to turn his attention on one of the boy's nipples. Castiel's back arched off the bed almost immediately and let out such an obscene moan that the Winchester could've sworn it came right out of a porno.

"D-dean….." Cas moaned as plead for more. Dean couldn't help the devilish grin that graced his features as he leaned over to give his other nipple the same treatment. The delicious sounds coming from the boy made him feel like he could do this all day. But it was Castiel gripping his arms for what seemed to be dear life that finally convinced Dean that he had teased the poor boy enough. Dean ran his hands lovingly over his torso and was sure he left lovemarks and kisses all down his chest and abdomen before stopping right before he reached Castiel's boxers. He looked up to Cas again, the once playful look was quickly replaced by worry, silently asking him if he was still sure about doing this. Cas looked back at him still panting slightly. He had been watching every movement Dean did with endearingly cute curious look. His eyes were dilated so much so that there was only but a meer ring of blue behind the enlarged pupils.

He nodded back almost immediately, wanting nothing else but Dean continuing to touch and kiss him wherever he pleased.

Dean let out a small sigh and returned his attention back to what he was doing. In a swift movement he slipped the underwear off the other boy's legs and onto the motel floor. He watched as the now released erection bobbed forward and laid leaking against Cas' stomach. Dean hadn't realized he was staring until he felt Castiel begin to squirm beneath him, growing impatient and embarrassed by the attention.

"Don't worry. I'm going to take care of you Cas. I promise." Dean whispered as he leaned down to place small kisses down the insides of his thighs. Cas only replied with a small whimper as he bucked upward, seeking any kind of friction. The Winchester chuckled lightly and smirked as he placed his hands on the younger boy's hips to still them again. He tried his best not to freak himself out by thinking about the fact that he had never done this kind of thing with another guy before. Another frustrated moan snapped him out it and the next moment he took Castiel's hardened cock into his mouth.

Cas' head flew back when he felt the wet heat of Dean's mouth engulfed the head of his length and slowly work it's way down to take more. The feeling of the other boy's tongue running on the underside of him was nearly overwhelming. Cas' hands gripped the bed sheets so tightly he was afraid that he would rip them as curses and moans spilled from his throat, mostly consisting of Dean's name.

The sounds he heard from Cas just pushed Dean to take him deeper in his mouth till he nearly hit the back of his throat and fought back his gag reflex. He hummed as he fell into a comfortable bobbing rhythm. The vibrations around his cock brought Cas dangerously close to the edge and he knew that there was no way he would last if Dean kept this up any longer.

"D-Dean, Dean stop… please." Castiel panted as tugged Dean's head back gently. The older boy complied immediately, looking back at Cas with wide worried eyes.

"Cas? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Dean questioned, his mouth still spit slicked and red as he looked Cas over.

"No! I mean yes, I'm fine. N-nothing is wrong!" Cas said quickly, sitting up so that he could put his hands on Dean's shoulders to calm him. He could see the confusion that replaced worry in the Winchester's expression after that. "I'm sorry. You were so good and I…. I just didn't want this to end too soon." He explained as he turned away and his cheeks grew red. A smirk immediately spread across Dean's lips as he grasped Cas' cheek to turn his head to look at him.

"Oh yeah? That good? You were gonna come with just my mouth?" Dean asked, eyes looking into his own hungrily. Cas bit his lip and nodded, keeping his gaze on Dean's as he did so. "Just wait. I'm going to make you feel so much more than that. And have you make all those pretty noises just for me." Dean said with a low growl. Cas never thought himself one for dirty talk but damn if he wasn't extremely turned on by the way he spoke.

"D-Dean… Please." Castiel whined, bucking his hips forward again.

"Please what? Tell me what you want angel." Dean teased, rubbing Cas' inner thighs slowly.

"Please…. Dean, I want to feel you. I-I want you to… to fuck me." Cas choked out as he tugged at the clothes that were still unfortunately on the older boy's body. He heard a low groan escape Dean's throat at the words and lifted his arms so that Cas could rid him of the shirt he was wearing. The Winchester stood briefly to that he could make quick work of his jeans and boxers. Cas dragged his eyes over and over Dean's form what seemed like only a moment before he settled himself between his legs again, reaching over to grab the bottle lube on the bed.

"Um…. this might be a bit uncomfortable at first, but just try your best to relax and it'll feel good soon. I promise." Dean explained, looking back up to the blue eyed boy with a hint of worry in his gaze. Castiel nodded silently and laid back as he let Dean spread his legs wider and press his slicked finger against his hole. He slowly pressed in and Cas couldn't help but gasp at the strange feeling and slight burn. Dean glanced up to him again but he only urged him to keep going. Cas forced himself to relax as the older boy slowly worked him open with his index finger. Even with the warning Dean gave him he still sucked in another sharp breath when he felt the second slick digit enter him and begin to stretch him wider. After the strange feeling passed Castiel actually found himself pressing back on his fingers desperately, moaning obscenely when he felt the next one enter and find a spot that made his senses feel as though they were on fire. The moan seemed to have spurred Dean on since he had removed his fingers, much to Cas' dismay, and positioned himself atop of the smaller boy.

Dean interlaced his fingers with his and leaned down to kiss Cas once again, so soft and so sweet it made his heart flutter, before pressing inward slowly. He gripped his hands tighter as he felt himself being stretched by Dean's cock. Once he bottomed out, with a deep groan of how tight the boy still felt, the Winchester stilled. He waited patiently for Cas to adjust to his girth, not wanting to hurt the beautiful boy beneath him. It was a strange feeling for the Cas but the burning sensation eventually passed, leaving him with with the yearning for more. The ugh it was difficult to keep the sluggish speed.

Cas' pleasure built as he felt Dean begin to move in a slow controlled movements. But he knew it wasn't enough. He needed more. He needed Dean to hold nothing back. To drive into him until he couldn't remember his own name. Cas wrapped his legs around the older boy's hips, urging him forward faster.

"Please… Dean." Castiel panted. "Faster…. I want you to fuck me faster."

The Winchester gave Cas a worried glance before taking a deep breath and nodding. Dean began to pick up speed and held Cas tighter against him. The sounds that came from the younger boy's lips were just plain sinful at this point. He loved it and before he knew it he was slamming home into Cas, hitting his prostate with each thrust.

"Doing so well angel... So good." He had planned to go slow and steady just for Cas' sake but the boy was just as desperate, rocking back to meet each thrust and still begging for more.  
Cas held onto Dean too as if his life depended on it. He wasn't even trying to stop the moans from spilling from his throat anymore. He was already too far gone to worry about that. The pressure and heat began to build in his abdomen and knew he wasn't going to be able take much more. By the looks of it Dean was on the edge as well. His thrusts becoming erratic and desperate as he chased after his own orgasm.  
"Dean... I'm close... I'm so close." Cas choked out as he grabbed the older boy's face to kiss him deeply. Without missing a beat Dean's hand reached in between their bodies to begin stroking Cas' aching cock. It only took a couple of tugs before he was coming with a shout of Dean's name.

At the beautiful sight of Castiel climaxing and the almost painful tight heat of him clenching around his dick, Dean came hard into the younger boy. He continued to stroke Cas as he rode out the waves of his own orgasm. When they both grew too sensitive he pulled out and rolled onto the spot next to Cas.

"Wow…." Cas said panting, both boys still basking in the glow of their finish as Dean grabbed his shirt to clean them off. He had never been one for cuddling after sleeping with a girl…. but this was Cas and that meant so much more than just sex. Without giving it another thought the Winchester turned and pulled the pickpocketing boy close to his, tucking him under his chin. To say that Castiel was surprised was an understatement.

"Snuggling now are we? Never took you as the type Dean." Cas said with a smile that Dean could only describe as a shit eating smirk.

"Shut up and enjoy it kid." Dean said gruffly, rolling his eyes at him.

"Never said I wasn't" Cas replied as he nestled himself into the older boy's body and dug his face into the crook of his neck.

He really could get used to this.

**THE END**


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